What Not to Say to Someone Struggling With Infertility

If you've ever said any of these to me, don't take it personally. I don't remember all of the who said whats, only what sucks to hear.

*These are all true statements of what I have gotten.

I was talking to my sister and she actually said something to the effect that she wishes she knew what not to say. I read this one a few months ago and agree with every word, which is probably why these lists will be so similar.

1. "Everything happens for a reason". - Really? First of all, I already knew that but how about next time you go through something tragic I'll say that to you and then we'll see how that goes over... Capisce?

2. "It will happen when the time is right." - Again, I know you're just trying to be nice and have something to say but honestly, I'd rather you just say nothing. I understand that things happen on a time frame of Meant-to-be's but again, it actually is hurtful. In fact I almost feel insulated, like I'm not good enough yet.

3. "You can have mine!" - You obviously don't understand what it's like to know you may never have your own.

4. "Well... we quit using birth control in January and in February I still wasn't pregnant. I know what it's like to take a while." - Wow. No words.

5. "You're lucky. I had these two on accident! I don't even talk to their dads anymore."-That's just being irresponsible and promiscuous.

6. "But you're so young! You should wait!" Yes, we're young. That is what makes this that much scarier and does not mean we have more time.

7. "Maybe you should just..." - Well if it were that easy we wouldn't be here, would we? I'll listen to my doctor's advice over yours. Sorry.

8. "Relax and it will happen!" - Again... no.

9. "You could just adopt." - Yes, we could, but we would still like our own. And again with the "just" word.

10. "Well I had a cousin/friend/aunt/uncle/dog's owner/client whose doctor said the same thing and then they had 4 on their own!" - Well good for them, and maybe that will happen but it's not something you want to hear about. Every situation is different.

BONUS: Trying to diagnose me. Please just don't do it. Unless you are a fertility specialist and have seen all of our tests and lab results it doesn't help and is mostly just annoying.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like every time I go in to Walmart for something I can't find it, but what I don't want to see is always in front of my face.

Hopefully someday soon, this will be a welcome scene.

The baby section at Walmart.

Good news.

It's been awhile.

Finally, we got some good news.

Two weeks ago, the Dr. called and let us know that our test results came back. Things still don't look, but they look better than he thought. Before the labs came back, he was under the impression that we would not be able to have our kids unless we used a donor egg.

Next month, or the next available window we have, I will start experimenting with hormones until we find the right combination. Then, we can start a round of IUI.

The Doc wants to start with IUI first to observe how I react to the hormones and maybe it will even work.

Raffle

I forgot to write abou this, and it is probably my favorite thing ever right now.

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Ready?

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This is big!

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And fun!

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And totally unrealistic.

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I was listening to the radio on my way to work the other day and heard that they are giving away a free round of IVF. Whaaaat? Seriously? When does that ever happen? I've never heard of it before, so you better believe that I rushed to the nearest computer to enter the drawing.

January 18th is when they will notify the winner. So lets all pray until then.